I have been feeling horrible for three weeks. It started with chest discomfort and I couldn’t really pinpoint it. The pain did get bad enough that I had to go to the doctor and I was put on a Z pack and Prednisone. Did nothing for me. Another week went by and I still felt horrible. I finally realized what was bothering me the most… breathing. It just hurts to pieces to breathe. I visited the doctor again and he did a physical and sent me to get a chest x-ray and schedule this pulmonary test. He also put me on an inhaler (yuck). I did the X-ray and went to the hospital three different times to get this other test done and the machine wasn’t working and blah blah. Point blank they kept rescheduling me. By the time the fourth appointment came around and was so sick to even get out of bed for more than five minutes so I definitely was NOT going to the doctor for another appointment. I stayed in bed. Here I am like three weeks later, I still haven’t heard back about my chest X-ray and have no idea what’s going on. I think I have just a really, really severe upper respiratory infection going on. Now it’s my neck, throat, nose, head, lungs, back, and chest. I feel awful. I think I have hit the worst end of it so far but it still sucks. So, be on the watch for the ickies floating around. Use hand sanitizer! Believe me you do not want this!
Today, sick as I am, I had to go and take a test for Statistics and then go listen to my Psych teacher go on about baseball for two hours. What a lecture that was! By the time I finally got home, I was like, eh… couch here I come! I made potato soup and sandwiches for supper and laid my butt on the couch for the rest of the evening. Now here I am laying in bed, unable to sleep. Great! Just what I need.
On the upside, Christmas break is almost here. The kids get out early from school tomorrow and my last day of class is Thursday. I will not be due back until January 10th, so I am excited to get a break! Tomorrow I will be finishing up my Christmas shopping. I can’t believe I still have shopping to do (a lot!). It has been hard to find the time to go and I live in such a small town that I have to travel to shop. No time at all for it! So tomorrow grandma will come over and watch the kids in the evening so that I can go out-of-town to shop. I hope I am feeling a little better by then. The kids are excited about Christmas and I think they are clueless as to what we have gotten them which makes for a great surprise. I cannot wait to see their faces! Once the holiday is over they will be traveling to see their other parents and I will get a break for about five days and in that time I am taking a mini vacation to Chicago. The man and I will have a little fun and then some R&R that is extremely overdue. He works nights and so now it seems impossible for me to sleep. I catch a few z’s from about four in the morning until the alarm beeps at me at six thirty. I am exhausted!
I do have some upcoming blog interviews with one that is very interesting. Make sure you catch it! Other than that, I am lying low. I am enjoying my holiday and I am just doing nothing.
It’s almost 10 o’clock at night. The kids are tucked in and fast asleep. The hubby is off to work. And I, well, I am relaxing. I am enjoying a nice, quiet
evening night to myself. I don’t get this very often. Normally I get up and run around until I drop taking care of everything for everyone except for myself. I took the time earlier today to do wash every stitch of clothing, wash every dirty dish, sweep every floor, wipe every counter… well you get the point. Now it’s me time. It’s getting late in the evening, yet I have put to brew another round of coffee and I looking forward to enjoying the next couple of hours of silence. The best part, I will get the kids off to school at 7 am and then I can crawl back into bed with my man and don’t have to be at class until 1 o’clock tomorrow. I can stay up and enjoy this silence. Ah.
Is it wrong for me to want to be alone? It has been a long time since I have known what alone feels like. I spend my every day taking care of my children and my spouse. It is a rare moment when I can just stop and think about me. Lately, I will drift off to the bathroom and run a hot bath. I will lay in there with a hot cup of tea and a good book. I can waste just an hour in the bliss of silence. I look forward to these moments. Most women of my age (24) would rather get a night out with the girls or go shopping. Not me. All I want is pure silence. Not to think, not to worry, not to work. Just to breathe and take in its power. To get away to myself for just an instant. To read a book I have been trying to finish for a month. It’s amazing. I can’t believe how precious it is. We all grow surrounding ourselves with friends and family and love their company, but isn’t it wonderful to just get some time to yourself? I look forward to it. Not frequently. But when I do, I am just…. happy.
I’ve had so much going on in my life lately. I moved twice in the last few months. I am no longer in Missouri and have come back to my roots up in Iowa. I stayed at a small house for about a month until we could find our new house, which is a 3 acre farm that we fell in love with right away. Things are getting back to normal I think. I have been working on writing more and building readers. I have some other projects as well that I have steered away from a little bit to focus on everything going on in my life right now. I also will start school on Monday. I am really excited. I will be taking Psychology of Human Relations, Composition 2, and Statistics. I am ultimately working for a degree in Psychiatry (my life long goal). On top of that I am remodeling my nest. It needed all new paint, some plumbing, flooring, and a few other quirks.
I feel like I have been in overdrive for at least a month. Coming to Iowa also meant being closer to my immediate family again. Wow! I knew that would mean I would be a little busier, but not this much. I am the youngest of my siblings but sometimes I swear they think I am their mother! We lost our eight years ago and our family has been a bit of a mess ever since. I have my older sister that doesn’t have a driver’s license. She has two kids and is a full-time student. What does this mean for me? She wants me to do everything regarding transportation for her. Taking her to school, doctors appoints, leisure, shopping; the whole nine yards. I feel like I am on a 2 hour time clock with her. I get home and the phone rings. I have to get up and go again. I just feel like I am accomplishing nothing. Today I realized I have to take her kids an hour away to Ottumwa on Monday to a dentist appointment. Ironic. My first day of class is Monday. Guess I won’t be going! The running is driving me bananas. I am just going to have to be stern and let her know that I have my own life and that I can’t play mommy right now. Ugh.
On a good note… I finally reached contact with my older brother. I hadn’t spoken to him for over two years. We have not seen each other in person but we have emailed each other every single day. I do miss him a lot and hope to spend time with him when he is closer to me next spring.
Ah. Family. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
So my life has been twisted upside down and inside out for the last couple of months. I hope that it will all come to order again soon. Oh and I brought home a surprise for my cat Puss in Boots today. I took a snap shot of him when I brought his present to him. He doesn’t look to impressed. Why you ask? Ah. Well I brought him Fiona. His new mate. She is still a baby. We just adopted her from someone and the minute I put her on the floor… she hit his food. He isn’t too happy right now. But I think in the long run he will be jumping for joy!